something inevitable (2/2)
Feb. 17th, 2013 01:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tattooedsiren[part one]
The thing is, Mike believes him.
The words were surprising, because in the little time they had spent together he'd pegged Harvey as the 'keep everything to himself and buried deep within' type of guy. And maybe he still is. Maybe this is just a one off, maybe Mike's accusations had caught him by surprise and he confessed everything with no forethought, too caught up in the moment to worry about boundaries and keeping his heart hidden away. Or, maybe he's like this with Mike, and Mike alone.
He banishes the thought instantly. Talk about a deluded, self-important idea. He's not bringing out a side to Harvey that no one else does. Because real life isn't like that. It's messy and complicated and most of the time not one person is to blame for any discordances that arise.
So yeah, Mike believes him, because he can see it in his face, the completely open and earnest expression gracing his features. But it's still overwhelming. And despite the fact that Mike knows Harvey had good intentions, he still just gave Mike twenty five grand and Mike doesn't know how to accept that. He's not sure that he can.
Harvey hasn't pushed, just lets them stand there in silence as Mike works through everything he's just heard. But then Harvey slowly steps forward, reaches out slowly enough to give Mike the option to stop him, and when he doesn't, Harvey cups a hand around the side of Mike's neck, let's his thumb idle back and forth over Mike's cheek.
Mike sighs into the touch, stepping that little bit closer. Without his consent his hands reach out, rest on Harvey's hips.
Thoughts are swirling in his head, too fast to grab onto. He needs clarification. He needs to know what Harvey wants from him. He needs to know what all of this means. Because, the truth is, he's already fallen so fucking hard for Harvey. He needs to figure out what he wants, how to move forward.
"Can I ask you something?" Mike asks, tentative, because what he is about to say will probably sound really juvenile but he needs to be certain, needs to know and not just assume.
And Harvey nods, dropping his hand, letting his fingertips trail down Mike's arm as they both step out of the embrace.
"Do you like me?"
Mike can tell Harvey is surprised by the question, so much so that he can't help but contort his face into an expression that screams are you kidding me?. But he answers anyway. "Yes."
"Do you want to be with me?"
"Yes."
Mike lets out a breath, feels the weight lift from his shoulders. Because regardless of the rest of it, he and Harvey are fundamentally in the same place, where they both feel that connection and desire. But still, this isn't the best way to start a relationship. He needs to think about it, needs to decide if this is something he can get past.
"Okay. But I need some time, Harvey. Is that okay?"
Harvey nods, clearly just happy that Mike hasn't cut and run. "Take as long as you need." And this time, when Harvey leans in to kiss him, Mike lets him, presses his lips back against Harvey's in a simple embrace.
Mike heads home, his brain a cacophonous presence he can't escape. Even within the safe cocoon of his apartment, it doesn't let up. Despite how much he hates the expression, there really is no better way to describe the last few days other than 'a rollercoaster of emotions'. There was the drug deal, almost getting caught, meeting Harvey, having a way to pay for Grammy's care slip through his fingers, Trevor being an ass, Grammy making him promise not to do the only thing he could think of to help her, meeting Harvey again, talking to and sleeping with and falling for Harvey, still not knowing how to help Grammy, finding out the guy he just met paid for Grammy's care, reacting instinctively to this and feeling almost like a prostitute – used and stupid and just plain confused, the anger at Harvey's actions and his deafening silence, and finding out Harvey's intentions were completely pure and he liked Mike and wanted to be with him. It's been an unrelenting few days, with no time to just sit back and think.
But he has that time now. He needs it, because he knows that this is one of those moments, the proverbial crossroad in the journey of life. And whatever path he chooses will ultimately make a massive impact on his life.
What it all boils down to, Mike decides at 3am as he lies on the couch with a pounding head, is that, while he appreciates Harvey's intentions and can get over the miscommunication and his erroneous assumptions about Harvey's motives, there will always be this imbalance between them. No matter what, it will always be hanging over his head, this thing that Harvey did back when they first met, and if they are going to move forward into a relationship it should be on equal footing. Because if this thing between them is going to last (and Mike can't plan for any other alternative) then they need to be partners, equals. And he refuses to let this become a chip on his shoulder or something he ends up resenting Harvey for or something that they each can fall back on during a fight when they're trying to gain the upper hand.
There is only one solution he can think of. He doesn't think it's breaking his promise to Grammy (maybe bending it) and even if it is, given the circumstances he doesn't think she'll mind.
So in the morning he calls Trevor and says, "Trevor, I have your stash. This is what you're going to do. You are going to pay me the twenty five grand you owe me, and in exchange, I'll give you your briefcase back."
"And if I don't?" Trevor asks, because he is clearly an idiot who thinks he can outsmart Mike now that he knows Mike didn't get rid of the pot, and really, that's just stupid.
"Let's see. I could tell Jenny everything. I could hand the briefcase in to the cops, give them a full account of what happened."
"They'd come after you too," Trevor says, but Mike can hear, despite how sure he is trying to sound, the slight tremble in his voice.
"Maybe, maybe not. But I'm willing to risk it. And," Mike can't help but smile as he says, "I just happen to have an amazing lawyer."
Harvey has never been a 'wait by the phone' type of guy. He's never had reason to before. His whole adult life there have been but a handful of people he has connected with enough to have an exclusive relationship with, but even then, it wasn't like this.
Luckily he has work to keep him occupied, because waiting for a phone call that may or may not come feels like the quickest way to drive himself mad. And there's a lot of work to be getting on with, what with their witness being caught lying under oath and Rick being unable to get her to testify.
They are at a dead end. Nothing seems to be working. But there's something off about this case, something he can't quite put his finger on. He needs someone to talk it through with, bounce ideas off, but Rick, as has been established, is an idiot and that would get him nowhere. He could ask Donna. She has a sharp mind, and has been working in the legal world long enough to know a thing or two. But she's busy enough as it is, and, as awesome as she knows she is, she is still his assistant and he would never live down going to her for legal help.
There's really no alternative. There is only one person who could get in the mindset of Hunt, sleazy bastard that he is. So he goes to Louis.
They hash it out for nearly twenty minutes, Harvey pacing the length of Louis's office the whole time, and still nothing. He wishes Mike was here. Mike with his brilliant brain that not only seemed to always be in line with Harvey's but could also bring some desperately needed new perspective to the situation.
And so what if he wasn't qualified? He was still more interesting and creative than everyone here. He wishes, once again, that he had hired Mike. A fake employee would be better than a real one at this point.
Fake employee.
"Louis, what if Joanna wasn't really an employee?"
"What are you talking about?"
"She's a fake. She manipulated us. She was a diversion, made to keep us busy and then ‘accidentally on purpose' lie under oath so we couldn't use her, knowing we wouldn't have any other defence."
"Yes," Louis snaps his fingers, grinning. "Like when I fire people from the mailroom in front of the associates to keep them in check."
"You fire-" Harvey cuts himself off. Now is not the time to debate Louis's ethics. "Never mind. I gotta go. Thanks, Louis," he adds as he leaves Louis's office. He's about to head off to see Joanna Webster but, in a moment of generosity, decides to detour to Rick's cubicle and take him with him. Because he's stuck with Rick, at least for now, so he might as well show him how it's done.
In the town car over to Joanna's apartment, the car enveloped in Ray's CD of choice (today it's Ima Robot), Rick sitting beside him and silently reading through the files one more time, Harvey gets out his cell and texts Mike.
I know I said I'd give you time, and I am. Just wanted to let you know I'm here and ready whenever you want to talk.
There isn't a reply for a good twenty minutes, but the muted buzz of his cell indicates he has a text and he tries not to be too apprehensive as he opens the message.
I know. Thanks Harvey. Been pulling double shifts at work. Are you free on Monday for dinner?
Harvey grins.
Absolutely. My place? 7pm?
They are just pulling up to Joanna's when he gets the reply.
It's a date. :o)
Mike paces the small space of his apartment. He isn't nervous about the deal about to go down (and those words have such a negative connotation, but what else does one call the exchange of illicit substances for a large amount of cash?), more about seeing Trevor again.
It feels like forever since they've seen each other even though it's really only been a week. Yet in that short space of time Mike's whole life has changed, and he can feel the space between them grow like they've had a whole lifetime in-between. Part of him will always love Trevor, because they've known each other their whole lives and he was there for him at a time when no one else was, but he doesn't like him anymore. And he can't keep pretending that everything is okay.
Trevor bangs on his front door, and it's weird, because Trevor always just barges in without knocking, whether Mike is home or not, and he thinks that maybe Trevor knows it's over too.
He opens the door and Trevor walks in. He at least has the grace to look contrite, the first words out of his mouth an apology. And Mike appreciates that. He just doesn't care anymore.
"Did you make the payment?" Mike asks instead, because he just wants this over with.
"Of course," Trevor replies.
But Mike doesn't trust him anymore, and despite Trevor's protests Mike calls up Anne to check.
"Hey, Anne. It's Mike Ross," Mike says, eyes on Trevor the whole time, defiant. Because the old Mike would've just believed whatever Trevor told him, and he wants Trevor to feel the pain of the lost trust as acutely as he feels it. Trevor makes a face and turns away, collapses onto the couch, but doesn't protest beyond that.
"Hey, Mike," Anne replies, cheerful.
"Did that payment come through?" Mike asks. He had already advised her that a second payment would be coming through so it wasn't automatically rejected as a duplicate.
"Yes, we received the money this morning."
"And the refund?"
"Taking care of it as we speak."
"Thanks, Anne. I appreciate it."
"Not a problem. Take care, Mike."
"You too."
Mike crosses the room to his kitchen, relief rolling through him in waves. Because part of him never expected this plan to work, for it to fall apart like everything else always seemed to. But it didn't. It fucking worked, and he can feel the promise of a new life before him, bright and shining and he's so excited by it he wants to cry. For the first time in as long as he remembers, he feels hopeful.
He opens the oven and digs the briefcase out of the bottom pizza box, gladly hands it over. "Here," he says, shoving the briefcase into Trevor's hand. And then he walks to the front door and opens it for him.
"Come on, Mike," Trevor says, tone a mixture of pleading and scepticism, like he can't believe Mike would have the will to cut him off for good, but if he wants him to play the part of the repentant friend for them to be cool then he will. "You know I don't want to live in a world where we're not tight."
He smiles brightly at Mike, and just for a moment Mike remembers all the good times, all the reasons he and Trevor have been friends for so long. But then, just as quickly, Mike thinks about Harvey, and his stomach tightens at the thought, his mind mentally counting the hours until he gets to see him again (fifty-one). Suddenly saying goodbye to Trevor feels like the easiest thing in the world.
"And I don't want to live in a world where my best friend sells me out. We can't always get what we want. Goodbye, Trevor," Mike says, and when Trevor walks away without another word Mike closes the door behind him, leaning on the back of the solid wood, and breathes deeply.
Harvey spends a ridiculous amount of time deciding what to wear, and he hates every minute that he goes through his closet looking at the options, because really, he is not a fifteen year old girl about to go on her first date. He is a grown goddamn man and the best lawyer in the city and he has already slept with Mike. It shouldn't really matter what he wears. In the end he settles for dark blue jeans and a black button down, and he spends the intervening minutes nervously pacing the apartment and straightening anything that looks even slightly out of alignment.
"Hey," Harvey says fifteen minutes later, grinning brightly, when he opens his front door to see Mike on the other side of the threshold.
"Hi," Mike replies, smiling shyly.
"Come in." Harvey steps back, opens the door even wider and allows Mike into the apartment.
He moves in slowly, looking at Harvey like he isn't sure of the protocol, and in the end he just stalks straight by him. Harvey's fingers twitch with the need to reach out and touch Mike, pull him into an embrace, feel him warm and solid beneath his hands in reassurance that he is really here. But instead he slides his hands into his pockets and asks, "How are you?"
"Good, thanks. Exhausted, but good."
Harvey walks to the kitchen and Mike follows, sitting on one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter while Harvey opens the fridge and grabs a couple of longnecks. He moves easily around the kitchen, opening the bottles and eventually handing a beer to Mike as he sits on the empty stool next to his.
"Yeah, you said you were working a lot. I assume drug trafficking doesn't actually come in double shifts, so I take it that means you have a new job?"
Mike smiles. "You are never gonna let the drug dealing thing go, are you?"
Harvey likes the implication of such a statement, that there could be times months and even years down the road where they are still together and he still gives Mike shit for meeting because of an aborted drug deal. And it sounds so right, that Harvey replies, "Never."
They look at each other, Mike's gaze tentative under his own, but he doesn't look away, and Harvey thinks he understands all the words that go unsaid with that simple answer.
"Well," Mike says, apparently finding the moment too heavy as he looks away, "you'll be happy to know I have secured completely legitimate and legal employment."
"Doing what?" Harvey asks, genuinely curious.
"Bike messenger. It's something I've done from time to time over the years. It's good work, keeps me nice and fit. But the first few days back are always a killer as your body adjusts."
Harvey didn't know what occupation he expected Mike to procure so quickly, but it wasn't that. Regardless, he's just happy he's found something on this side of the law.
"What about you?" Mike asks. "How is the harassment suit going?"
"Done. Closed it off today, as a matter of fact," Harvey says proudly.
"What happened?"
"Turns out the second woman we found who we thought was also harassed was actually someone the CEO planted to distract us so we wouldn't look for other evidence. But then we realized what he'd done and threatened him with witness tampering. Suffice to say after that he settled for a generous amount."
Mike's eyes widen, completely enthralled. Harvey tries not to imagine how all of this would've gone down if he'd had Mike as his associate.
"Wow, that's insane. How did you figure it out?"
Harvey can't help but smile when he says, "You."
Harvey sees Mike's features darken with confusion. He doesn't say anything for a while, and Harvey can tell Mike is trying to figure out how he was the inspiration between point A and point B. He obviously comes up with nothing because he eventually asks, "Um, how?"
"As has become my habit I was having my daily 'I wish I had hired Mike' moment and thinking that as a fake employee you'd be better than my actual qualified employee, and it came to me that maybe she was a fake. So we looked into it and I was right. So, it seems that even though I didn't hire you, you still managed to break this case on two separate occasions."
Mike just blinks at him, and Harvey loves that he has thrown him. It feels intrinsic to their dynamic, that push and pull, the way they continually surprise each other.
"I kinda don't know what to say to that," Mike confesses at last, the words slowly filling the space between them.
Harvey tries to catch his eye, but Mike won't let him. He looks around the condo instead, won't let himself look Harvey in the eye. He doesn't know the reason for Mike's evasion, can only assume that despite (or maybe because of) everything that has happened between them in such a short time that he's struggling to cope with Harvey's statements. But Harvey won't take it back. It's true. Mike helped him break this case twice without even being there and he feels like … since meeting Mike he has become sharper and more invested in everything while at the same time feeling like he's been wandering around in a daze that no one but Mike can penetrate. It makes no sense, the contradiction, but it's the only way he can think to describe how completely upside down he feels since meeting Mike.
"Um, Harvey," Mike says, eyes focused hard on the kitchen.
Harvey follows his eye line to the completely pristine kitchen, or more accurately, the complete lack of dinner being prepared. "Oh yeah, about that. Work ran later than anticipated and I didn't have time to cook dinner."
Mike just looks at him, the that's total bullshit - I don't believe you for one second screaming from his face.
Harvey laughs, holding up his hands in surrender. "Okay, I admit it, I can't really cook." And with impeccable timing, his front doorbell rings sharply. "I can however order pizza like no one's business."
By some tacit agreement they agree to wait until after they've eaten to get to the heavy stuff. Instead Harvey brings the pizza into the lounge and they set up camp on the couch. Harvey turns on the TV and flicks through the channels to find something to watch, stopping when he comes across Mississippi Burning (seemingly because Mike mentioned that he loves that movie even though it's already three quarters of the way through).
Mike can't believe that Harvey remembered. He takes a bite of the chicken and mushroom pizza, the flavors combining in an amazing way, and he smiles at Harvey. Because somehow Harvey remembered that when they were at dinner the other night Mike was vacillating between the pizza and the parmigiana and even though he ordered the parm, Harvey remembered his favorite pizza and ordered it for him tonight.
"What the hell?" Harvey says in disbelief as he pulls a slice of pizza out of the box.
"What's wrong?"
"They made a mistake. There's cheese in this crust."
Mike can't help but laugh at how personally offended Harvey sounds. He makes a big show of taking a bite of the crust, forms a face like he pretends he's mulling over the taste while he chews. Harvey just stares at him the whole time (and Mike tries to not think about Harvey's gaze heavy on his mouth).
He eventually swallows and declares, "It's awesome."
Harvey makes a face but silently takes a bite of the pizza. Mike grins and turns his attention to the TV, settles deeper into the couch. Despite all the things yet unsaid between them they manage to make it through the meal by talking of nothing: the movie, the pizza, the best places in the city to hang out on a warm summer night…
When the movie finishes Harvey keeps channel surfing until he lands on ESPN. There's a news story on the upcoming game between the Giants and the Dodgers and Mike asks Harvey who his team is, not even remotely surprised when Harvey tells him the Yankees. This of course leads to a passionate debate on the merits of the Yankees vs the Mets, with Mike insisting that cheering for an underdog is way more emotionally fulfilling as a fan, while Harvey counters that the Mets can't really be considered an underdog when they have a 93 million dollar payroll.
They argue good-naturedly, with none of the heat of their previous fight. The conversation spins into a dozen different tangents, and by the time it's done Mike has learned three important things.
One: Harvey used to play baseball when he was a kid. He blew out his shoulder before the championship game and his team won anyway. If he'd kept playing he could've been good enough to go pro, and despite how much he loves his life and his work, a part of him will always wonder what that life would've been like.
Two: Harvey has Michael Jordan's phone number programmed into his cell. Mike calls bullshit and Harvey happily hands over the phone and dares Mike to call. Mike's fingers hover over the call button but he gives the phone back with an honest 'I believe you'.
Three: Mike could so easily fall in love with Harvey. And he really shouldn't, because, as he's already thought numerous times, they come from completely different worlds and are in such different places in life and yet somehow that manages to work for them and not against them. And yeah, maybe it's too soon to even be considering words like love and forever but sitting here with Harvey he just can't help it. It's how he feels: warm and settled and, as cliché as it sounds, home.
The conversation somehow digresses to Harvey's pre-law days at NYU and Mike thinks this might be a good segue into the more serious conversation they need to have.
"You know, I've been thinking about going back to school," Mike says softly, eyes averted as he speaks the idea aloud, afraid he will see something he doesn't like in Harvey's reaction.
"Really?" Harvey says. "To study what?"
"I don't know. It's stupid really…"
"No, it's not," Harvey says intently, and the depth of his vehemence makes Mike meet his gaze. "It's not stupid and it's not too late and I think it's a brilliant idea."
Mike can't help the flush of pleasure. It's more reassuring than he can say, Harvey's approval, because sometimes he thinks his life is just him bouncing from one crazy idea to the next and he didn't know if this was any different. But Harvey's reassurance makes him think that maybe it's not completely insane.
"Well, the idea was inspired by you in a way," Mike says. Harvey looks at him, surprised, and he likes the way it brightens his face. "Meeting you that first day, having the promise of a new life wrenched away-" Harvey grimaces at that, and Mike immediately reaches out and covers his hand with his own. "No, Harvey, it's fine. I get why you didn't hire me, and it was probably really wrong of me to ask that of you. But spending that time with you and fighting for a new life, I realized that I wanted more. That I had fallen into a rut – well, maybe 'gaping chasm' would be a more appropriate term. But I don't want that anymore. It's time for me to grow up, take responsibility, contribute to the world. I want more from this life and it was you that made me realize it."
Harvey doesn't say anything for a while, and Mike starts to panic, thinking maybe he has said too much, that he's revealed how deep this thing with Harvey already is when he is inspiring major life changes. But then Harvey smiles, lifting Mike's hand and pressing a kiss to his palm. Mike can feel his heartbeat quicken in response but he tries to remain impassive, on the outside at least.
"I'm glad, Mike. Really. And I'm sure you'll be amazing at whatever you choose. So, have you narrowed it down to a shortlist or anything?"
"Not really. Still just exploring my options. Let's face it; I have a pretty major black mark on my record from the last time. I think my options will be pretty limited."
Harvey looks at him a moment, head tilted to the side as he examines him. Mike furrows his brow, confused at suddenly being under Harvey's scrutiny.
"Have you considered being a paralegal?" Harvey asks. "With a mind like yours, you'd be amazing at research. Hell, you're practically a walking library as it is. It varies enough from day to day to keep you interested, you can be dealing with multiple cases at once, so it'll keep you on your toes. It's perfect."
Mike smiles, because it kinda is. He would never get back into pre-law after the test incident, but this sounds like it could be a viable option.
"Maybe…"
"I mean, not that I get a vote or anything, but if you are still even considering it I think you should give law another go. I have some friends at Harvard. I could help you."
Mike smiles, touched at the offer. "I know. And I appreciate that. But I don't want your help, at least, not for this. My last academic career ended because of Trevor, because he convinced me to do something I didn't want to. I don't want my new one to start with someone's help. I think I need to do this on my own."
"Okay," Harvey says, understanding.
Mike takes a deep breath. He can't put this off any longer. "Speaking of you helping me – or, as I like to call it, being a pushy bastard who just can't help interfering – we should talk about the money thing."
Harvey seems to steel himself in preparation for this conversation, sitting that much straighter. "Mike-"
"If you check your bank accounts tomorrow you'll find all the money has been returned."
"What? How?" Harvey asks instantly, looking borderline panicked.
Mike shrugs. "I got the money another way."
Harvey just looks at him then, and Mike knows he thinks that means he got it in less than legal means. This is confirmed when Harvey says, "Tell me."
"I didn't do anything illegal, okay." At Harvey's continued stare he relents with, "Okay, actually, I don't know where reselling the pot I didn't get busted holding back to its original owner falls in the legal spectrum, and to be honest I don't fucking care. It got the pot out of my apartment, Trevor out of my life and your money returned to you. I call that a win-win-win."
"You didn't have to return the money," Harvey says, eyes downcast, and there is something in his voice, like he is genuinely hurt by this.
Mike shifts closer to Harvey on the couch. He reaches over and cups a hand around the back of his neck. The touch gets Harvey's attention, and he looks up at him. Mike can't help but lean in and kiss him, a soft pressing of their lips. When he withdraws, Harvey looks placated.
"Yeah, I really did," Mike tells him earnestly. "Look, I love that you cared enough to do this. But the next time you want to help just ask me first. I'll admit that I'm slightly screwed up but I'm not broken. Don't try and fix me."
"I wasn't trying to fix you," Harvey says urgently, like it is imperative Mike knows that he doesn't think him weak or damaged. "I just wanted to help."
"Well, like I said, I appreciate the sentiment. But if we're going to be together, if we are going to work, then this is what I need to do."
"I've never wanted to help anyone the way I want to help you," Harvey suddenly says, words coming out in a rush like if he doesn't say it now he never will. "It's actually a little scary."
Mike gives him a little half smile before leaning in and kissing him. He lets it deepen this time, hands cradling his jaw as their mouths slowly open to each other. Without breaking the embrace Mike manages to maneuver himself so he sits in Harvey's lap, thighs pressing into Harvey's hips. Harvey's fingertips slide under Mike's tee to trace the skin beneath. They kiss languidly, like they have all the time in the world. When he eventually pulls away, Mike smiles reassuringly at him.
"Believe me, I understand."
Because for some unknown reason, in a city of millions, they found each other, found this connection which Mike knows is deep and profound and that is fucking scary. But it's also exciting and liberating and he has never felt this way and never wants to again (because he has no intention of giving this up). And Harvey's grateful smile tells him that he feels all that too. They are in uncharted waters here, both of them caught completely off guard by this, but also unwilling to let it go too.
Harvey kisses him then, runs his hands up and down his ribs. Mike can't sit still, hips rolling, grinding deliciously against Harvey. The older man groans, drags his mouth from Mike's and slowly makes his way down his neck. Mike's skin tingles where Harvey's tongue dips to taste it. He slides his hands down Harvey's chest and grabs a fistful of his shirt between his fingers.
"So, just for the record, does this mean we are officially together?" Mike asks before claiming Harvey's mouth once more.
Harvey grabs Mike's tee and pulls it over his head, throwing it onto the floor behind the couch. He claims Mike's mouth, runs his hands over the expanse of white skin in front of him. He trails a line of kisses down Mike's chest as he murmurs, "Well, I wouldn't move your things into Wayne Manor just yet, but yes, I want us to be together."
Mike has managed to unbutton Harvey's shirt and Harvey has managed to work his way back up Mike's torso to claim his lips before Mike has fully processed Harvey's statement. He pulls back and out of Harvey's embrace, grinning.
"I'm sorry, did you just compare yourself to Batman?" he asks, laughing.
Harvey grins stupidly at him, waves an arm to indicate himself and the room at large. Mike looks around and, okay, Harvey has a point. Stupid enigmatic bastard with his penthouse in the sky and completely endearing everything. Mike shrugs in a fair enough kind of way before leaning in and kissing Harvey once more.
His fingers work quickly to unbutton Harvey's pants. He slips his hand in, grasps Harvey's warm cock, fingertips idling lightly up and down the shaft before he wraps a hand around him. Harvey moans into his mouth, squirms in his seat as he tries to push up into Mike's hand.
Clearly deciding turnabout is fair play, Harvey gets his hand down Mike's pants too, his hand steady and sure as it pumps slowly. When he rubs a thumb over his slit Mike breaks their kiss with a gasp. Harvey repeats the action and Mike braces himself with a hand to the back of the couch, presses them closer together. He can feel Harvey's breath on the side of his face and he speeds up his movements on Harvey's cock, but it's no longer enough.
"You're wearing too many clothes," Mike murmurs.
"Likewise."
Mike gets up off Harvey's lap and pushes his jeans and boxers down his legs. Harvey remains sitting but also divests himself of his shirt, jeans and briefs, their clothes mixing together in a pile on the floor.
Mike climbs back onto Harvey's lap and wraps both arms around Harvey's shoulders. Harvey's large hands settle on his hips, fingertips light on his skin as Harvey leans in and kisses him. The embrace is slow but deep, tongues dancing together in a perfect rhythm. Mike starts rolling his hips, rubbing their cocks together. The friction is tantalizing. He keeps a steady rhythm, their bodies pressed together, warm and simple, and it feels fucking perfect.
Mike feels so turned on, he doesn't know if he is more desperate to come or to drag this out for as long as he can. His body feels electric, every synapse firing at a rapid rate, and each roll of his hips, each place where their skin touches makes his stomach clench with overwhelming desire.
Mike slides a hand between them, wraps it around their aching cocks. Harvey breaks their kiss to moan in approval. He presses his mouth to the place where Mike's neck and shoulder meets, sucking at the skin before biting softly, claiming him with his mouth and teeth.
Their bodies start to move frantically, swiftly bringing them closer to the inevitable. Mike spreads the leaking pre-come over their hard cocks, slickening his movements even more, and it drags a sigh from his lips.
"I've been thinking about this for days," Harvey utters against his skin.
Mike grins. "Likewise."
Mike is desperate now, and if how hard Harvey's fingers are digging into his hips is any indication, Harvey is too. Mike seeks his mouth for a deep kiss before pulling back. He quickly licks a stripe down his palm before returning his hand, working it quick and fast, and he keeps his eyes fixed on Harvey. The older man is slightly flushed, breath coming in short gasps. Mike bites his lower lip as the arousal spreads throughout his body.
"Harvey," Mike says, and he hates the way his voice breaks halfway through, hates how vulnerable he sounds, but that's exactly how he feels. Looking at Harvey, he feels a wave of emotion suddenly wash over him, feels the weight of everything that has happened this last week, and he can do nothing but hold tighter. He feels like he's giving himself over in every way. And he's never done that before and he needs some reassurance that this is okay, that Harvey will respect the gift he is giving.
Harvey smiles softly at him, rests a hand gently on the back of his neck, fingers nestled in the short hair at the nape of his neck. "It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'm right here with you."
Mike can feel it explode within him, and when Harvey whispers, "Come on, come for me," he does, coming with a cry, head thrown back as he spills between them. He keeps pumping his hand, won't stop until he makes Harvey come too, and it doesn't take long, Harvey's pelvis thrusting as much as it's able given Mike's weight and he comes with Mike's name on his lips.
Mike collapses forward, his whole body still shaking as he comes down from his orgasm, Harvey's arms wrapped around his warm and slick body. The sound of their ragged breath fills the empty space, and Mike feels safe, settled, happy.
Harvey is vaguely aware of the sound of the shower running, but he's still lingering in the space between sleep and wakefulness. He shifts slightly, burrowing deeper into the warm cocoon of the bed, eyes closed, content.
He doesn't know how much time has passed but by the time he opens his eyes, resigned to the waking world, Mike exits the en suite and enters the room, fully dressed with damp hair and a blazing smile.
"Good morning," Mike says.
"Hey," Harvey replies, voice raspy from the early morning.
Mike crosses the room, leans down and kisses him. When he makes to pull back Harvey doesn't let him, grabbing his forearms and pulling him down. Mike laughs but doesn't put up a fight, his body falling onto Harvey's as the older man claims his mouth once more.
They lie there and make out for a stupidly long time, and Harvey doesn't even care that he probably smells ripe and has morning breath while Mike smells clean and fresh and tastes like Harvey's toothpaste. He just feels absurdly happy.
"I used your toothbrush," Mike says when they are done, as if he has read Harvey's mind.
"I'll buy you one today," Harvey replies, running a hand through Mike's shaggy hair.
"Or alternatively we could just go to my place where I have my own toothbrush," Mike counters as he gets up off the bed.
"But then I wouldn't have one," Harvey points out, and Mike throws a wide grin over his shoulder as he walks out of Harvey's bedroom.
With a groan Harvey throws the covers off and pads over to the walk-in, grabbing the first pair of pajama pants and t-shirt he can find and throwing them on. When he walks into the lounge he discovers Mike on the couch, tying up his converse.
"You're leaving?" Harvey asks, trying not to sound disappointed.
Mike looks up, and he can see that Mike would definitely much rather stay too. "Yeah. I gotta go. Gotta get to work."
He stands and pats himself down, clearly making sure he has everything before he heads off. Harvey meets him by the front door, and they stand there together. Harvey suddenly thinks of that first day, when they lingered together at the Chilton hotel room door, each reluctant to part. And he knows part of him will forever regret not hiring Mike. But he also knows that if he had, then he might never have this. And he can't say for certain that if he had a choice between the two that he would be willing to give this up, not even for that.
"What time do you get off?" Harvey asks.
"Around three. I'll call you when I'm done."
Harvey nods.
"Have a nice day, dear," Mike says, over emphasizing the last word.
Harvey rolls his eyes, a gesture completely lost on Mike as the younger man leans over and kisses him.
"Get out of here, you," Harvey says, playfully swatting Mike on the ass.
And with one last brilliant smile, Mike walks out the door.
The thing is, Mike believes him.
The words were surprising, because in the little time they had spent together he'd pegged Harvey as the 'keep everything to himself and buried deep within' type of guy. And maybe he still is. Maybe this is just a one off, maybe Mike's accusations had caught him by surprise and he confessed everything with no forethought, too caught up in the moment to worry about boundaries and keeping his heart hidden away. Or, maybe he's like this with Mike, and Mike alone.
He banishes the thought instantly. Talk about a deluded, self-important idea. He's not bringing out a side to Harvey that no one else does. Because real life isn't like that. It's messy and complicated and most of the time not one person is to blame for any discordances that arise.
So yeah, Mike believes him, because he can see it in his face, the completely open and earnest expression gracing his features. But it's still overwhelming. And despite the fact that Mike knows Harvey had good intentions, he still just gave Mike twenty five grand and Mike doesn't know how to accept that. He's not sure that he can.
Harvey hasn't pushed, just lets them stand there in silence as Mike works through everything he's just heard. But then Harvey slowly steps forward, reaches out slowly enough to give Mike the option to stop him, and when he doesn't, Harvey cups a hand around the side of Mike's neck, let's his thumb idle back and forth over Mike's cheek.
Mike sighs into the touch, stepping that little bit closer. Without his consent his hands reach out, rest on Harvey's hips.
Thoughts are swirling in his head, too fast to grab onto. He needs clarification. He needs to know what Harvey wants from him. He needs to know what all of this means. Because, the truth is, he's already fallen so fucking hard for Harvey. He needs to figure out what he wants, how to move forward.
"Can I ask you something?" Mike asks, tentative, because what he is about to say will probably sound really juvenile but he needs to be certain, needs to know and not just assume.
And Harvey nods, dropping his hand, letting his fingertips trail down Mike's arm as they both step out of the embrace.
"Do you like me?"
Mike can tell Harvey is surprised by the question, so much so that he can't help but contort his face into an expression that screams are you kidding me?. But he answers anyway. "Yes."
"Do you want to be with me?"
"Yes."
Mike lets out a breath, feels the weight lift from his shoulders. Because regardless of the rest of it, he and Harvey are fundamentally in the same place, where they both feel that connection and desire. But still, this isn't the best way to start a relationship. He needs to think about it, needs to decide if this is something he can get past.
"Okay. But I need some time, Harvey. Is that okay?"
Harvey nods, clearly just happy that Mike hasn't cut and run. "Take as long as you need." And this time, when Harvey leans in to kiss him, Mike lets him, presses his lips back against Harvey's in a simple embrace.
Mike heads home, his brain a cacophonous presence he can't escape. Even within the safe cocoon of his apartment, it doesn't let up. Despite how much he hates the expression, there really is no better way to describe the last few days other than 'a rollercoaster of emotions'. There was the drug deal, almost getting caught, meeting Harvey, having a way to pay for Grammy's care slip through his fingers, Trevor being an ass, Grammy making him promise not to do the only thing he could think of to help her, meeting Harvey again, talking to and sleeping with and falling for Harvey, still not knowing how to help Grammy, finding out the guy he just met paid for Grammy's care, reacting instinctively to this and feeling almost like a prostitute – used and stupid and just plain confused, the anger at Harvey's actions and his deafening silence, and finding out Harvey's intentions were completely pure and he liked Mike and wanted to be with him. It's been an unrelenting few days, with no time to just sit back and think.
But he has that time now. He needs it, because he knows that this is one of those moments, the proverbial crossroad in the journey of life. And whatever path he chooses will ultimately make a massive impact on his life.
What it all boils down to, Mike decides at 3am as he lies on the couch with a pounding head, is that, while he appreciates Harvey's intentions and can get over the miscommunication and his erroneous assumptions about Harvey's motives, there will always be this imbalance between them. No matter what, it will always be hanging over his head, this thing that Harvey did back when they first met, and if they are going to move forward into a relationship it should be on equal footing. Because if this thing between them is going to last (and Mike can't plan for any other alternative) then they need to be partners, equals. And he refuses to let this become a chip on his shoulder or something he ends up resenting Harvey for or something that they each can fall back on during a fight when they're trying to gain the upper hand.
There is only one solution he can think of. He doesn't think it's breaking his promise to Grammy (maybe bending it) and even if it is, given the circumstances he doesn't think she'll mind.
So in the morning he calls Trevor and says, "Trevor, I have your stash. This is what you're going to do. You are going to pay me the twenty five grand you owe me, and in exchange, I'll give you your briefcase back."
"And if I don't?" Trevor asks, because he is clearly an idiot who thinks he can outsmart Mike now that he knows Mike didn't get rid of the pot, and really, that's just stupid.
"Let's see. I could tell Jenny everything. I could hand the briefcase in to the cops, give them a full account of what happened."
"They'd come after you too," Trevor says, but Mike can hear, despite how sure he is trying to sound, the slight tremble in his voice.
"Maybe, maybe not. But I'm willing to risk it. And," Mike can't help but smile as he says, "I just happen to have an amazing lawyer."
Harvey has never been a 'wait by the phone' type of guy. He's never had reason to before. His whole adult life there have been but a handful of people he has connected with enough to have an exclusive relationship with, but even then, it wasn't like this.
Luckily he has work to keep him occupied, because waiting for a phone call that may or may not come feels like the quickest way to drive himself mad. And there's a lot of work to be getting on with, what with their witness being caught lying under oath and Rick being unable to get her to testify.
They are at a dead end. Nothing seems to be working. But there's something off about this case, something he can't quite put his finger on. He needs someone to talk it through with, bounce ideas off, but Rick, as has been established, is an idiot and that would get him nowhere. He could ask Donna. She has a sharp mind, and has been working in the legal world long enough to know a thing or two. But she's busy enough as it is, and, as awesome as she knows she is, she is still his assistant and he would never live down going to her for legal help.
There's really no alternative. There is only one person who could get in the mindset of Hunt, sleazy bastard that he is. So he goes to Louis.
They hash it out for nearly twenty minutes, Harvey pacing the length of Louis's office the whole time, and still nothing. He wishes Mike was here. Mike with his brilliant brain that not only seemed to always be in line with Harvey's but could also bring some desperately needed new perspective to the situation.
And so what if he wasn't qualified? He was still more interesting and creative than everyone here. He wishes, once again, that he had hired Mike. A fake employee would be better than a real one at this point.
Fake employee.
"Louis, what if Joanna wasn't really an employee?"
"What are you talking about?"
"She's a fake. She manipulated us. She was a diversion, made to keep us busy and then ‘accidentally on purpose' lie under oath so we couldn't use her, knowing we wouldn't have any other defence."
"Yes," Louis snaps his fingers, grinning. "Like when I fire people from the mailroom in front of the associates to keep them in check."
"You fire-" Harvey cuts himself off. Now is not the time to debate Louis's ethics. "Never mind. I gotta go. Thanks, Louis," he adds as he leaves Louis's office. He's about to head off to see Joanna Webster but, in a moment of generosity, decides to detour to Rick's cubicle and take him with him. Because he's stuck with Rick, at least for now, so he might as well show him how it's done.
In the town car over to Joanna's apartment, the car enveloped in Ray's CD of choice (today it's Ima Robot), Rick sitting beside him and silently reading through the files one more time, Harvey gets out his cell and texts Mike.
I know I said I'd give you time, and I am. Just wanted to let you know I'm here and ready whenever you want to talk.
There isn't a reply for a good twenty minutes, but the muted buzz of his cell indicates he has a text and he tries not to be too apprehensive as he opens the message.
I know. Thanks Harvey. Been pulling double shifts at work. Are you free on Monday for dinner?
Harvey grins.
Absolutely. My place? 7pm?
They are just pulling up to Joanna's when he gets the reply.
It's a date. :o)
Mike paces the small space of his apartment. He isn't nervous about the deal about to go down (and those words have such a negative connotation, but what else does one call the exchange of illicit substances for a large amount of cash?), more about seeing Trevor again.
It feels like forever since they've seen each other even though it's really only been a week. Yet in that short space of time Mike's whole life has changed, and he can feel the space between them grow like they've had a whole lifetime in-between. Part of him will always love Trevor, because they've known each other their whole lives and he was there for him at a time when no one else was, but he doesn't like him anymore. And he can't keep pretending that everything is okay.
Trevor bangs on his front door, and it's weird, because Trevor always just barges in without knocking, whether Mike is home or not, and he thinks that maybe Trevor knows it's over too.
He opens the door and Trevor walks in. He at least has the grace to look contrite, the first words out of his mouth an apology. And Mike appreciates that. He just doesn't care anymore.
"Did you make the payment?" Mike asks instead, because he just wants this over with.
"Of course," Trevor replies.
But Mike doesn't trust him anymore, and despite Trevor's protests Mike calls up Anne to check.
"Hey, Anne. It's Mike Ross," Mike says, eyes on Trevor the whole time, defiant. Because the old Mike would've just believed whatever Trevor told him, and he wants Trevor to feel the pain of the lost trust as acutely as he feels it. Trevor makes a face and turns away, collapses onto the couch, but doesn't protest beyond that.
"Hey, Mike," Anne replies, cheerful.
"Did that payment come through?" Mike asks. He had already advised her that a second payment would be coming through so it wasn't automatically rejected as a duplicate.
"Yes, we received the money this morning."
"And the refund?"
"Taking care of it as we speak."
"Thanks, Anne. I appreciate it."
"Not a problem. Take care, Mike."
"You too."
Mike crosses the room to his kitchen, relief rolling through him in waves. Because part of him never expected this plan to work, for it to fall apart like everything else always seemed to. But it didn't. It fucking worked, and he can feel the promise of a new life before him, bright and shining and he's so excited by it he wants to cry. For the first time in as long as he remembers, he feels hopeful.
He opens the oven and digs the briefcase out of the bottom pizza box, gladly hands it over. "Here," he says, shoving the briefcase into Trevor's hand. And then he walks to the front door and opens it for him.
"Come on, Mike," Trevor says, tone a mixture of pleading and scepticism, like he can't believe Mike would have the will to cut him off for good, but if he wants him to play the part of the repentant friend for them to be cool then he will. "You know I don't want to live in a world where we're not tight."
He smiles brightly at Mike, and just for a moment Mike remembers all the good times, all the reasons he and Trevor have been friends for so long. But then, just as quickly, Mike thinks about Harvey, and his stomach tightens at the thought, his mind mentally counting the hours until he gets to see him again (fifty-one). Suddenly saying goodbye to Trevor feels like the easiest thing in the world.
"And I don't want to live in a world where my best friend sells me out. We can't always get what we want. Goodbye, Trevor," Mike says, and when Trevor walks away without another word Mike closes the door behind him, leaning on the back of the solid wood, and breathes deeply.
Harvey spends a ridiculous amount of time deciding what to wear, and he hates every minute that he goes through his closet looking at the options, because really, he is not a fifteen year old girl about to go on her first date. He is a grown goddamn man and the best lawyer in the city and he has already slept with Mike. It shouldn't really matter what he wears. In the end he settles for dark blue jeans and a black button down, and he spends the intervening minutes nervously pacing the apartment and straightening anything that looks even slightly out of alignment.
"Hey," Harvey says fifteen minutes later, grinning brightly, when he opens his front door to see Mike on the other side of the threshold.
"Hi," Mike replies, smiling shyly.
"Come in." Harvey steps back, opens the door even wider and allows Mike into the apartment.
He moves in slowly, looking at Harvey like he isn't sure of the protocol, and in the end he just stalks straight by him. Harvey's fingers twitch with the need to reach out and touch Mike, pull him into an embrace, feel him warm and solid beneath his hands in reassurance that he is really here. But instead he slides his hands into his pockets and asks, "How are you?"
"Good, thanks. Exhausted, but good."
Harvey walks to the kitchen and Mike follows, sitting on one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter while Harvey opens the fridge and grabs a couple of longnecks. He moves easily around the kitchen, opening the bottles and eventually handing a beer to Mike as he sits on the empty stool next to his.
"Yeah, you said you were working a lot. I assume drug trafficking doesn't actually come in double shifts, so I take it that means you have a new job?"
Mike smiles. "You are never gonna let the drug dealing thing go, are you?"
Harvey likes the implication of such a statement, that there could be times months and even years down the road where they are still together and he still gives Mike shit for meeting because of an aborted drug deal. And it sounds so right, that Harvey replies, "Never."
They look at each other, Mike's gaze tentative under his own, but he doesn't look away, and Harvey thinks he understands all the words that go unsaid with that simple answer.
"Well," Mike says, apparently finding the moment too heavy as he looks away, "you'll be happy to know I have secured completely legitimate and legal employment."
"Doing what?" Harvey asks, genuinely curious.
"Bike messenger. It's something I've done from time to time over the years. It's good work, keeps me nice and fit. But the first few days back are always a killer as your body adjusts."
Harvey didn't know what occupation he expected Mike to procure so quickly, but it wasn't that. Regardless, he's just happy he's found something on this side of the law.
"What about you?" Mike asks. "How is the harassment suit going?"
"Done. Closed it off today, as a matter of fact," Harvey says proudly.
"What happened?"
"Turns out the second woman we found who we thought was also harassed was actually someone the CEO planted to distract us so we wouldn't look for other evidence. But then we realized what he'd done and threatened him with witness tampering. Suffice to say after that he settled for a generous amount."
Mike's eyes widen, completely enthralled. Harvey tries not to imagine how all of this would've gone down if he'd had Mike as his associate.
"Wow, that's insane. How did you figure it out?"
Harvey can't help but smile when he says, "You."
Harvey sees Mike's features darken with confusion. He doesn't say anything for a while, and Harvey can tell Mike is trying to figure out how he was the inspiration between point A and point B. He obviously comes up with nothing because he eventually asks, "Um, how?"
"As has become my habit I was having my daily 'I wish I had hired Mike' moment and thinking that as a fake employee you'd be better than my actual qualified employee, and it came to me that maybe she was a fake. So we looked into it and I was right. So, it seems that even though I didn't hire you, you still managed to break this case on two separate occasions."
Mike just blinks at him, and Harvey loves that he has thrown him. It feels intrinsic to their dynamic, that push and pull, the way they continually surprise each other.
"I kinda don't know what to say to that," Mike confesses at last, the words slowly filling the space between them.
Harvey tries to catch his eye, but Mike won't let him. He looks around the condo instead, won't let himself look Harvey in the eye. He doesn't know the reason for Mike's evasion, can only assume that despite (or maybe because of) everything that has happened between them in such a short time that he's struggling to cope with Harvey's statements. But Harvey won't take it back. It's true. Mike helped him break this case twice without even being there and he feels like … since meeting Mike he has become sharper and more invested in everything while at the same time feeling like he's been wandering around in a daze that no one but Mike can penetrate. It makes no sense, the contradiction, but it's the only way he can think to describe how completely upside down he feels since meeting Mike.
"Um, Harvey," Mike says, eyes focused hard on the kitchen.
Harvey follows his eye line to the completely pristine kitchen, or more accurately, the complete lack of dinner being prepared. "Oh yeah, about that. Work ran later than anticipated and I didn't have time to cook dinner."
Mike just looks at him, the that's total bullshit - I don't believe you for one second screaming from his face.
Harvey laughs, holding up his hands in surrender. "Okay, I admit it, I can't really cook." And with impeccable timing, his front doorbell rings sharply. "I can however order pizza like no one's business."
By some tacit agreement they agree to wait until after they've eaten to get to the heavy stuff. Instead Harvey brings the pizza into the lounge and they set up camp on the couch. Harvey turns on the TV and flicks through the channels to find something to watch, stopping when he comes across Mississippi Burning (seemingly because Mike mentioned that he loves that movie even though it's already three quarters of the way through).
Mike can't believe that Harvey remembered. He takes a bite of the chicken and mushroom pizza, the flavors combining in an amazing way, and he smiles at Harvey. Because somehow Harvey remembered that when they were at dinner the other night Mike was vacillating between the pizza and the parmigiana and even though he ordered the parm, Harvey remembered his favorite pizza and ordered it for him tonight.
"What the hell?" Harvey says in disbelief as he pulls a slice of pizza out of the box.
"What's wrong?"
"They made a mistake. There's cheese in this crust."
Mike can't help but laugh at how personally offended Harvey sounds. He makes a big show of taking a bite of the crust, forms a face like he pretends he's mulling over the taste while he chews. Harvey just stares at him the whole time (and Mike tries to not think about Harvey's gaze heavy on his mouth).
He eventually swallows and declares, "It's awesome."
Harvey makes a face but silently takes a bite of the pizza. Mike grins and turns his attention to the TV, settles deeper into the couch. Despite all the things yet unsaid between them they manage to make it through the meal by talking of nothing: the movie, the pizza, the best places in the city to hang out on a warm summer night…
When the movie finishes Harvey keeps channel surfing until he lands on ESPN. There's a news story on the upcoming game between the Giants and the Dodgers and Mike asks Harvey who his team is, not even remotely surprised when Harvey tells him the Yankees. This of course leads to a passionate debate on the merits of the Yankees vs the Mets, with Mike insisting that cheering for an underdog is way more emotionally fulfilling as a fan, while Harvey counters that the Mets can't really be considered an underdog when they have a 93 million dollar payroll.
They argue good-naturedly, with none of the heat of their previous fight. The conversation spins into a dozen different tangents, and by the time it's done Mike has learned three important things.
One: Harvey used to play baseball when he was a kid. He blew out his shoulder before the championship game and his team won anyway. If he'd kept playing he could've been good enough to go pro, and despite how much he loves his life and his work, a part of him will always wonder what that life would've been like.
Two: Harvey has Michael Jordan's phone number programmed into his cell. Mike calls bullshit and Harvey happily hands over the phone and dares Mike to call. Mike's fingers hover over the call button but he gives the phone back with an honest 'I believe you'.
Three: Mike could so easily fall in love with Harvey. And he really shouldn't, because, as he's already thought numerous times, they come from completely different worlds and are in such different places in life and yet somehow that manages to work for them and not against them. And yeah, maybe it's too soon to even be considering words like love and forever but sitting here with Harvey he just can't help it. It's how he feels: warm and settled and, as cliché as it sounds, home.
The conversation somehow digresses to Harvey's pre-law days at NYU and Mike thinks this might be a good segue into the more serious conversation they need to have.
"You know, I've been thinking about going back to school," Mike says softly, eyes averted as he speaks the idea aloud, afraid he will see something he doesn't like in Harvey's reaction.
"Really?" Harvey says. "To study what?"
"I don't know. It's stupid really…"
"No, it's not," Harvey says intently, and the depth of his vehemence makes Mike meet his gaze. "It's not stupid and it's not too late and I think it's a brilliant idea."
Mike can't help the flush of pleasure. It's more reassuring than he can say, Harvey's approval, because sometimes he thinks his life is just him bouncing from one crazy idea to the next and he didn't know if this was any different. But Harvey's reassurance makes him think that maybe it's not completely insane.
"Well, the idea was inspired by you in a way," Mike says. Harvey looks at him, surprised, and he likes the way it brightens his face. "Meeting you that first day, having the promise of a new life wrenched away-" Harvey grimaces at that, and Mike immediately reaches out and covers his hand with his own. "No, Harvey, it's fine. I get why you didn't hire me, and it was probably really wrong of me to ask that of you. But spending that time with you and fighting for a new life, I realized that I wanted more. That I had fallen into a rut – well, maybe 'gaping chasm' would be a more appropriate term. But I don't want that anymore. It's time for me to grow up, take responsibility, contribute to the world. I want more from this life and it was you that made me realize it."
Harvey doesn't say anything for a while, and Mike starts to panic, thinking maybe he has said too much, that he's revealed how deep this thing with Harvey already is when he is inspiring major life changes. But then Harvey smiles, lifting Mike's hand and pressing a kiss to his palm. Mike can feel his heartbeat quicken in response but he tries to remain impassive, on the outside at least.
"I'm glad, Mike. Really. And I'm sure you'll be amazing at whatever you choose. So, have you narrowed it down to a shortlist or anything?"
"Not really. Still just exploring my options. Let's face it; I have a pretty major black mark on my record from the last time. I think my options will be pretty limited."
Harvey looks at him a moment, head tilted to the side as he examines him. Mike furrows his brow, confused at suddenly being under Harvey's scrutiny.
"Have you considered being a paralegal?" Harvey asks. "With a mind like yours, you'd be amazing at research. Hell, you're practically a walking library as it is. It varies enough from day to day to keep you interested, you can be dealing with multiple cases at once, so it'll keep you on your toes. It's perfect."
Mike smiles, because it kinda is. He would never get back into pre-law after the test incident, but this sounds like it could be a viable option.
"Maybe…"
"I mean, not that I get a vote or anything, but if you are still even considering it I think you should give law another go. I have some friends at Harvard. I could help you."
Mike smiles, touched at the offer. "I know. And I appreciate that. But I don't want your help, at least, not for this. My last academic career ended because of Trevor, because he convinced me to do something I didn't want to. I don't want my new one to start with someone's help. I think I need to do this on my own."
"Okay," Harvey says, understanding.
Mike takes a deep breath. He can't put this off any longer. "Speaking of you helping me – or, as I like to call it, being a pushy bastard who just can't help interfering – we should talk about the money thing."
Harvey seems to steel himself in preparation for this conversation, sitting that much straighter. "Mike-"
"If you check your bank accounts tomorrow you'll find all the money has been returned."
"What? How?" Harvey asks instantly, looking borderline panicked.
Mike shrugs. "I got the money another way."
Harvey just looks at him then, and Mike knows he thinks that means he got it in less than legal means. This is confirmed when Harvey says, "Tell me."
"I didn't do anything illegal, okay." At Harvey's continued stare he relents with, "Okay, actually, I don't know where reselling the pot I didn't get busted holding back to its original owner falls in the legal spectrum, and to be honest I don't fucking care. It got the pot out of my apartment, Trevor out of my life and your money returned to you. I call that a win-win-win."
"You didn't have to return the money," Harvey says, eyes downcast, and there is something in his voice, like he is genuinely hurt by this.
Mike shifts closer to Harvey on the couch. He reaches over and cups a hand around the back of his neck. The touch gets Harvey's attention, and he looks up at him. Mike can't help but lean in and kiss him, a soft pressing of their lips. When he withdraws, Harvey looks placated.
"Yeah, I really did," Mike tells him earnestly. "Look, I love that you cared enough to do this. But the next time you want to help just ask me first. I'll admit that I'm slightly screwed up but I'm not broken. Don't try and fix me."
"I wasn't trying to fix you," Harvey says urgently, like it is imperative Mike knows that he doesn't think him weak or damaged. "I just wanted to help."
"Well, like I said, I appreciate the sentiment. But if we're going to be together, if we are going to work, then this is what I need to do."
"I've never wanted to help anyone the way I want to help you," Harvey suddenly says, words coming out in a rush like if he doesn't say it now he never will. "It's actually a little scary."
Mike gives him a little half smile before leaning in and kissing him. He lets it deepen this time, hands cradling his jaw as their mouths slowly open to each other. Without breaking the embrace Mike manages to maneuver himself so he sits in Harvey's lap, thighs pressing into Harvey's hips. Harvey's fingertips slide under Mike's tee to trace the skin beneath. They kiss languidly, like they have all the time in the world. When he eventually pulls away, Mike smiles reassuringly at him.
"Believe me, I understand."
Because for some unknown reason, in a city of millions, they found each other, found this connection which Mike knows is deep and profound and that is fucking scary. But it's also exciting and liberating and he has never felt this way and never wants to again (because he has no intention of giving this up). And Harvey's grateful smile tells him that he feels all that too. They are in uncharted waters here, both of them caught completely off guard by this, but also unwilling to let it go too.
Harvey kisses him then, runs his hands up and down his ribs. Mike can't sit still, hips rolling, grinding deliciously against Harvey. The older man groans, drags his mouth from Mike's and slowly makes his way down his neck. Mike's skin tingles where Harvey's tongue dips to taste it. He slides his hands down Harvey's chest and grabs a fistful of his shirt between his fingers.
"So, just for the record, does this mean we are officially together?" Mike asks before claiming Harvey's mouth once more.
Harvey grabs Mike's tee and pulls it over his head, throwing it onto the floor behind the couch. He claims Mike's mouth, runs his hands over the expanse of white skin in front of him. He trails a line of kisses down Mike's chest as he murmurs, "Well, I wouldn't move your things into Wayne Manor just yet, but yes, I want us to be together."
Mike has managed to unbutton Harvey's shirt and Harvey has managed to work his way back up Mike's torso to claim his lips before Mike has fully processed Harvey's statement. He pulls back and out of Harvey's embrace, grinning.
"I'm sorry, did you just compare yourself to Batman?" he asks, laughing.
Harvey grins stupidly at him, waves an arm to indicate himself and the room at large. Mike looks around and, okay, Harvey has a point. Stupid enigmatic bastard with his penthouse in the sky and completely endearing everything. Mike shrugs in a fair enough kind of way before leaning in and kissing Harvey once more.
His fingers work quickly to unbutton Harvey's pants. He slips his hand in, grasps Harvey's warm cock, fingertips idling lightly up and down the shaft before he wraps a hand around him. Harvey moans into his mouth, squirms in his seat as he tries to push up into Mike's hand.
Clearly deciding turnabout is fair play, Harvey gets his hand down Mike's pants too, his hand steady and sure as it pumps slowly. When he rubs a thumb over his slit Mike breaks their kiss with a gasp. Harvey repeats the action and Mike braces himself with a hand to the back of the couch, presses them closer together. He can feel Harvey's breath on the side of his face and he speeds up his movements on Harvey's cock, but it's no longer enough.
"You're wearing too many clothes," Mike murmurs.
"Likewise."
Mike gets up off Harvey's lap and pushes his jeans and boxers down his legs. Harvey remains sitting but also divests himself of his shirt, jeans and briefs, their clothes mixing together in a pile on the floor.
Mike climbs back onto Harvey's lap and wraps both arms around Harvey's shoulders. Harvey's large hands settle on his hips, fingertips light on his skin as Harvey leans in and kisses him. The embrace is slow but deep, tongues dancing together in a perfect rhythm. Mike starts rolling his hips, rubbing their cocks together. The friction is tantalizing. He keeps a steady rhythm, their bodies pressed together, warm and simple, and it feels fucking perfect.
Mike feels so turned on, he doesn't know if he is more desperate to come or to drag this out for as long as he can. His body feels electric, every synapse firing at a rapid rate, and each roll of his hips, each place where their skin touches makes his stomach clench with overwhelming desire.
Mike slides a hand between them, wraps it around their aching cocks. Harvey breaks their kiss to moan in approval. He presses his mouth to the place where Mike's neck and shoulder meets, sucking at the skin before biting softly, claiming him with his mouth and teeth.
Their bodies start to move frantically, swiftly bringing them closer to the inevitable. Mike spreads the leaking pre-come over their hard cocks, slickening his movements even more, and it drags a sigh from his lips.
"I've been thinking about this for days," Harvey utters against his skin.
Mike grins. "Likewise."
Mike is desperate now, and if how hard Harvey's fingers are digging into his hips is any indication, Harvey is too. Mike seeks his mouth for a deep kiss before pulling back. He quickly licks a stripe down his palm before returning his hand, working it quick and fast, and he keeps his eyes fixed on Harvey. The older man is slightly flushed, breath coming in short gasps. Mike bites his lower lip as the arousal spreads throughout his body.
"Harvey," Mike says, and he hates the way his voice breaks halfway through, hates how vulnerable he sounds, but that's exactly how he feels. Looking at Harvey, he feels a wave of emotion suddenly wash over him, feels the weight of everything that has happened this last week, and he can do nothing but hold tighter. He feels like he's giving himself over in every way. And he's never done that before and he needs some reassurance that this is okay, that Harvey will respect the gift he is giving.
Harvey smiles softly at him, rests a hand gently on the back of his neck, fingers nestled in the short hair at the nape of his neck. "It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'm right here with you."
Mike can feel it explode within him, and when Harvey whispers, "Come on, come for me," he does, coming with a cry, head thrown back as he spills between them. He keeps pumping his hand, won't stop until he makes Harvey come too, and it doesn't take long, Harvey's pelvis thrusting as much as it's able given Mike's weight and he comes with Mike's name on his lips.
Mike collapses forward, his whole body still shaking as he comes down from his orgasm, Harvey's arms wrapped around his warm and slick body. The sound of their ragged breath fills the empty space, and Mike feels safe, settled, happy.
Harvey is vaguely aware of the sound of the shower running, but he's still lingering in the space between sleep and wakefulness. He shifts slightly, burrowing deeper into the warm cocoon of the bed, eyes closed, content.
He doesn't know how much time has passed but by the time he opens his eyes, resigned to the waking world, Mike exits the en suite and enters the room, fully dressed with damp hair and a blazing smile.
"Good morning," Mike says.
"Hey," Harvey replies, voice raspy from the early morning.
Mike crosses the room, leans down and kisses him. When he makes to pull back Harvey doesn't let him, grabbing his forearms and pulling him down. Mike laughs but doesn't put up a fight, his body falling onto Harvey's as the older man claims his mouth once more.
They lie there and make out for a stupidly long time, and Harvey doesn't even care that he probably smells ripe and has morning breath while Mike smells clean and fresh and tastes like Harvey's toothpaste. He just feels absurdly happy.
"I used your toothbrush," Mike says when they are done, as if he has read Harvey's mind.
"I'll buy you one today," Harvey replies, running a hand through Mike's shaggy hair.
"Or alternatively we could just go to my place where I have my own toothbrush," Mike counters as he gets up off the bed.
"But then I wouldn't have one," Harvey points out, and Mike throws a wide grin over his shoulder as he walks out of Harvey's bedroom.
With a groan Harvey throws the covers off and pads over to the walk-in, grabbing the first pair of pajama pants and t-shirt he can find and throwing them on. When he walks into the lounge he discovers Mike on the couch, tying up his converse.
"You're leaving?" Harvey asks, trying not to sound disappointed.
Mike looks up, and he can see that Mike would definitely much rather stay too. "Yeah. I gotta go. Gotta get to work."
He stands and pats himself down, clearly making sure he has everything before he heads off. Harvey meets him by the front door, and they stand there together. Harvey suddenly thinks of that first day, when they lingered together at the Chilton hotel room door, each reluctant to part. And he knows part of him will forever regret not hiring Mike. But he also knows that if he had, then he might never have this. And he can't say for certain that if he had a choice between the two that he would be willing to give this up, not even for that.
"What time do you get off?" Harvey asks.
"Around three. I'll call you when I'm done."
Harvey nods.
"Have a nice day, dear," Mike says, over emphasizing the last word.
Harvey rolls his eyes, a gesture completely lost on Mike as the younger man leans over and kisses him.
"Get out of here, you," Harvey says, playfully swatting Mike on the ass.
And with one last brilliant smile, Mike walks out the door.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2013-02-17 07:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-18 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-17 05:30 pm (UTC)Think you just gave me diabetes.
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Date: 2013-02-18 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-18 06:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-18 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-18 08:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-19 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-20 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-21 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-20 01:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-21 03:21 am (UTC)And I'm glad you liked that couch scene, because you almost didn't get it (well, you almost had just the start of it coz the fic was supposed to end as they were getting it on - after the wayne manor line - but then I thought it was too cruel to cut off the smut lol).
♥